The sea swells and you are swallowed by the deep Thursday, Apr 28 2011

I was watching dogma with my dad, when during an ad-break, he said;

“Black jesus, god is a woman and now these two angels killing a lot of people? I bet this film got tonnes of complaints” and I replied with some vague agreement, but then after thinking about it I realised why? Why should it have received a lot of complaints, I know that it did, but why was this film, mostly respectful to Christianity, seen as such a challenge to people’s beliefs?

I suspect it is a combination of human nature and that at it’s core, Christianity is a simple/easy religion; there is a god who will send you to hell if you break certain rules, however god’s physical embodiment or his son came to Earth a long time ago and tried to teach/show people how to live a good life, in the end dying for humanities sins so that people would just have to believe that this man was the son of god and show genuine repentance for any sins committed to get into heaven.

As a doctrine, that sounds inoffensive enough and shouldn’t bring about the strong outrage at Dogma that was seen, however, human nature meant that the at first simple church became a great lumbering behemoth, people of power within this church added complexities not needed just to keep their job of guiding people more interesting, then these people quibbled over largely unimportant things. But these quibbles spiralled out of control and the church split a great many times into many different factions, and they taught their followers their particular version of the doctrine and the habit of thinking in a certain way, thinking certain things, formed. But unfortunately, a great many people’s first reaction to seeing something that shows that their pre-conceptions, their habits, could be wrong/different is anger and hatred.

For some reason, people feel the need to always be on the “Right side” or for others views to be shown as silly or wrong and will resort to deplorable tactics to maintain their fragile worldview.

I’m ending the post here, because I am beginning to ramble and have lost my original point.

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My face is happy Tuesday, Apr 26 2011

So my beautiful and not at all boring readers, I have some knowledge to implant into your fragile and overtly yellow minds. During an awkward car journey with my aunt and her daughter I realised that the majority of my anecdotes are only funny if the lucky person hearing me speak was involved in said anecdote, this seems like a problem to me, a problem I hope to rectify by turning my vast and unsinkable writing prowess to the task of making shit up.

I came to this stunning realisation because earlier in the day, the aunt who was kind enough to give me the lift was regaling myself and other family members with stories from my family’s past, stories of which I was more than happy to listen to seeing as I have always found learning more about my family fun. Well that’s a lie, I haven’t always found learning more about my family fun, for example;

Earlier today I discovered something disturbing, my cousin once removed (my cousin’s son) has a son, a son whose birth I clearly remember happening whilst I was at college. The child being only two/three years old has been immutable to my mind, but today the subject of the child’s sixth birthday came up and I would not (and still fucking won’t gorram it) accept that the kid is nearly six years old. Now, either my entire family is lying to me in some twisted ploy to gain some intangible benefit from my confusion, or my perception of the passage of time and my memory of events is rather badly warped, I suspect that the first one is correct.

See? Most of you won’t have been around for the described event and will have found the entire thing uninteresting, but if you were there, the memory of me throwing chairs into walls has probably just sent you into gales of laughter! So, once I have polished the story of that time I single-handedly defeated like, fifty ninjas and then went on to sleep with all their wimmins, I’ll post it here for the internets to see in a grovelling apology for my poor anecdotes.

Next time on semi-coherent sentences, we get to see some furiously typed thoughts about the various denominations of Christianity and organised religion in general.

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